You Will Do Your Laundry — Dude Tells Fortunes

“C’mon. First time free.”

“No. I don’t want to know my future. I have to live it no matter what it is. Leave me alone. Go molest someone else.”

“How? I’m stuck in this middle seat. I can’t get OUT to molest anyone else. El Porko Snoro there isn’t about to wake up. I wonder what he took before the flight?”

“If you’re any kind of psychic at all you already KNOW what he took. Besides, it’s unkind to make fun of extremely obese people on drugs. Have you know social awareness at ALL?”

“I’m interested in facts, like what your palm will tell me about your future. C’mon, babe, let me read your palm.”

“BABE??? I know your type. You’re NOT a palm reader, you’re a skanky guy who’s hitting on me, and I’M trapped in a window seat. What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? With you and that curvy, sleeping gentleman between me and the aisle?”

“Lemme see your palm.”

“No. You’re just looking for an excuse to hold my hand.”

“What of it? What’s wrong with that? Maybe we’ll end up making beautiful music together.”

“That’s not going to happen. All right, here, but you’re no more fortune teller than I’m a passenger pigeon.”

“See? I told you. Here, on your life line, it says plain as DAY that you’ll go on a journey and meet a handsome stranger and look, here, you’ll live happily ever after.”

“Handsome? That lets you out. Give me back my hand.” Tricia reached up and pressed the button for the stewardess.

“Can I help you with something?”

“Yeah, hi, I’d like to switch seats. This guy is harassing me.”

“I don’t think I can switch your seat, miss. This plane is full. I’m so sorry. Sir, you need to keep your hands to yourself, and if someone says they don’t want to talk to you, you must respect that, understand? If you’d like something to read, I can bring you magazines or you can watch our in-flight movie which is starting in about fifteen minutes. Do you understand?”

“Understood.” The palm reader slunk down in his seat.

Tricia poked her earbuds into her ears, folded her arms across her chest and faced the window for the rest of the flight.

“I knew it would turn out like this,” Dude muttered under his breath. “I just knew it.”

8 thoughts on “You Will Do Your Laundry — Dude Tells Fortunes

  1. I will let you know the next time I go flying. I never meet interesting people on my flights. Sounds like Dude could be something completely different. And who cares at my age it gives you a little confidence if a young guy wants to hold your hand.

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