Lamont and Dude Take On Plato

“I’ll give you ‘vox populi‘.”

“Now what, Lamont?”

“Politics. I’m about sick of it. How many elections have we survived? You know what I think?”

“I’m about to.”

“Dude, I mean, really. How many cretinous creatures have you known over the course of your lives?”

“Not big on democracy, then?”

“That’s just it. Remember Athens?”

“No. Wait. No.”

“Weren’t you there?”

“I dunno, Lamont. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. Maybe I was a cockroach. Maybe I was someone’s sex slave.”

“You’d like that.”

“Depends. You gotta’ face it, Lamont. We’re living in a crazy world. In this world an Olympic athlete — decathlete — can decide in his golden years that he doesn’t want to be a guy any more.”

“Yeah, that’s weird. I mean like being an old woman is such a party? Sure, sure I remember some of those times. There was the time I got to climb up the Japanese Mountain of Death and go to sleep in the freezing fog and snow so my son, his wife and my grand-children were not deprived of two bowls of rice a day. That was great, effin’ great.”

“Lamont, was that you?”

“Dude, it was common practice among grandma’s in Hokkaido. Daughter-in-law rants at you long enough and the Mountain of Death starts looking good. Haven’t you ever been an old woman?”

“Well, yeah, lots of times. But my point, Lamont, is that something’s going on.”

“Whoa, Sherlock, like when isn’t there something going on?”

“What was so great about Athens?”

“The ‘Philosopher King’. Dude, you have to read ‘The Allegory of the Cave’.”

“Read it. Wrote several papers on it. You have something in common with Socrates, Lamont, now that I think about it.”

“Wow. Thank you, Dude!”

“Neither of you seem to be able to get to the point.”

“OK, well, basically that the people who SHOULD be leaders will not WANT to be. And those who WANT to be should NOT be.”


“Here, ‘And thus our State which is also yours will be a reality, and not a dream only, will be administered in a spirit unlike that of other States, in which men … are distracted in the struggle for power, which in their eyes is a great good. Whereas the truth is that the State in which the rulers are most reluctant to govern is always the best and most quietly governed, and the State in which they are most eager, the worst’.”

“Yeah, but that guy, isn’t he dragged into leadership through the voice of the people?”

“He is.”

“That pretty much contradicts your first point, dunnit?”

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