Lamont and Dude Recall First Fish

“What’s the most daring thing you’ve done, Dude?”

“Me? I’ve never been especially daring, Lamont. You know that.”

“You seem to have forgotten the most daring thing BOTH of us ever did.”

“What was that?”

“WALKING out of the primordial ooze into the fresh air of, uh, air.”

“That wasn’t daring. It was ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’.”

“No. It was ‘damned if you don’t’.”

“Uh-uh. Plenty of guys stayed back.”

“Yeah, but look at them? Air sacks filled with mud; flippers with toes of hope instead of feet. C’mon. It wasn’t easy taking the first uphill journey of animal-kind.”

“My wife was having none of it.”

“I remember. ‘No, Dude, no! You’ll die! Come back! I love you! What about the children?’.”

“Hysterical female. I told her to come.”

“I know. I’m glad I was single. That must’ve been hard for you.”

“She was annoying. What can I say? Stay back there and listen to her complain about how there was less and less oxygen in the ooze and what was I going to do about it or take my chances on the outside.”

“Remember that first breath?”

“I’ll never forget it. What a relief!”

“No kidding. Who’d ever have thought we’d come to this, though?”

“Well, there were a lot of other things in between and who knows what’s ahead.”

“I hope I get to be a tree again. It’s so restful.”

“I hope you do too, Lamont. Somewhere like England in a nature preserve.”

“I wish the same for you, Dude.”

“Thanks, buddy.”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a couple of years ago. They are unique in that the remember many of their past incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything. In this episode, they recall their lives as Crossopterygii a creature who also happens to be my personal hero. Reposted from some time past as there is nothing else I have to say about fish. 🙂

7 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Recall First Fish

    • Lamont is hoping to be an oak tree that will live calmly and peacefully for hundreds of years watching the passing parade and being protected by environmentalists. In spite of everything, he remains an optimist.

  1. The first breath – were they Coelacanths by any chance? I once saw one of their grandparents floating in some sort of liquid in the Natural History museum in London. I believe the last living relatives were used by the natives in Africa for their scales that were tough enough to repair their bicycle tyres.

    • They were coelacanths, or the grandparents of coelacanths. I learned of them in a geology class in university and they became my heroes immediately. There are still some in Indonesia. That’s pretty amazing about the bicycle tires — but then they are semi-amphibians or lizards or something. Lamont would know… 😉

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