Good Dreams … and Bad

Thank god it’s morning. Just before I got up, I was having a horrible nightmare. I was still tethered to the Evil X. He was completely clueless that he wasn’t supposed to be anywhere around me. Suddenly his whole family was there, and I was saying to his brother (not in real life) “Help me!!!” Then I realized I could help myself just by getting up and feeding the dogs.

I guess I have “Relationship with a sociopath PTSD.”

We are tethered to memories, and not all of them are good.

Now I’m just tethered to my lawn mower (it is electric) and at some point (when the grass is dryer) I must go out there and cut the grass.

I wonder very often why I decided to buy a house. It’s true my house payment isn’t a gigantic chunk of my limited income, but it’s an anchor and I have to take care of it. I’m not happy about the chunk of money I’m having to invest in it this summer. I really could not care less about a garage door or a garage roof. A little part of me hopes that — true to form — the people who’ve agreed to do this work never show up. It’s likely. And, I haven’t paid anyone anything yet.

The dogs are also tethered. I pretty much decided last night that if it gets down to me and one dog, I might just put this house on the market (not that anything sells in Monte Vista) and fulfill my dreams of a life on the road. Oh the places we will go when we are no longer tethered!

4 thoughts on “Good Dreams … and Bad

    • I think it is a fairly incomprehensible choice to make until it suddenly occurs to one that they don’t have to be tied down. It would have been hard for me 3 years ago with a very old blind Siberian husky with the wanderlust, but she would have adjusted to being leashed all the time. It just didn’t occur to me that I don’t belong in a place. I could’ve had a base in Colorado Springs and they could’ve “called me the breeze” as it were. Your wife might suddenly have THE epiphany.

Comments are closed.