Lamont and Dude Ponder Dormancy

“Dormant. They say that volcano in Yellowstone Park is dormant.”

“A good thing.”

“There was fake news about it recently, that it was about to erupt — no, wait, the news said it WAS erupting, it was spewing lava.”

“You know what must be cool about being a volcano?”

“Not much is cool about being a volcano. ‘Cool’ and ‘volcano’ are not the first two words you put together.”

“Lava cools.”

“Yeah, but volcano? I’m sorry, Dude. I interrupted you with some unfunny pedantry. What must be cool about being a volcano?”

“You get to spew. Volcanoes are always spewing.”

“There’s a theory that our meteorite caused all kinds of volcanic action.”

“I bet it did. It’s known scientifically that meteorites can cause that. Remember when we took your wife and kids to see the meteor crater in AZ?”



“Ah. Yeah. She wasn’t impressed.”

“Don’t look so sad, Lamont. If it had been meant to be, she’d still be here with you.”

“You know, Dude, around Lorraine, I always tried to keep the memories under control a bit. She really didn’t get it. She had me committed!”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry I blew it for you, spewing old memories about the goodle days as velociraptors.”

“Probably for the best. No marriage is any good if you can’t be yourself around your spouse. Or, in my case, selves.”

“I will never forget little Lamont Jr. saying, ‘Daddy, were you really a velociraptor?'”

“How do you answer that when your kid asks?”

“You did good on that one.”

“What did I say?”

“‘Once upon a time in a land far, far away’.”

“Oh yeah. Well, all that’s blood under the bridge as they say. Thanks for springing me from the asylum.”

“No worries. You’d do the same for me.”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

3 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Ponder Dormancy

    • Lamont says no. He says that it is not “If spewing, then volcano.” He says it only works, “If volcano, then spewing.” He’s a little pissy sometimes…

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