Interview with Lamont and Dude on the Subject of Age

Back when I was a teenager/early 20s person people thought I was older than I was and I thought that was cool. Now that I’m 65 and people think I’m older than I am, it pisses me off.

In between, most of the time, I “passed” for someone younger.

How old are we, anyway? We have decided to ask Lamont and Dude that question. “Ha ha ha ha,” says Lamont. “You want to talk about age? I’ll talk about age,” and out came an articulate diatribe on what it’s like to live for eons…

“Be an oak tree,” he said. Some people who hear him think “Be an oak tree” is a Zen koan, but Lamont advises anyone who returns from iteration to iteration to BE an oak tree whenever they get the chance. When asked why, Lamont said, “You start small and slowly reach a majestic stature from which you can peruse the world and foibles of animal life. You provide a home for birds and squirrels who eat your children, but it’s OK. Squirrels need to live, too, and if all your children were allowed to fall and sprout there’d be no room for anything to grow. You also give a home to numerous insects. It’s a calm life participating in the various activities of the natural world, but in a quiet way.”

His friend, Dude, also spoke highly of the oak tree life but related that his favorite iteration — that he knows of — is now. “I like surfing and I was not able to surf in any of my other incarnations.”

“He was once a porpoise, but he doesn’t remember,” said Lamont. “It’s really impossible to remember every incarnation.”

Lamont and Dude claim to have lived in some form or other on this planet for eons. Science is unable to prove or to disprove their claim.


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of the previous incarnations which gives them the unusual perspective on life, the universe and everything.

7 thoughts on “Interview with Lamont and Dude on the Subject of Age

  1. Looking older is great when you are young. Having grey hair just means you look good “for your age”. I still don’t quite know what that was. I wish I had been a dodo. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  2. When I was 26, I looked 16 and was affronted that I had a child and was horrified that the one or two grey hairs creeping in weren’t counted as important. lmao, that soooo changed when overnight, my hair went nearly white, well completely silver white and now people think I’m 10 years older than I am. lol how times change! Maybe I should have been a….naw, i’m ok with it.

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