Food Not Food

“Sacreligious? How in the world… How is cannibalism ‘religious’?”

“That’s the heart of the question — no pun intended there, Trish. But you don’t want to discuss religion on your show, and I sure don’t blame you. Besides, we can’t bring a Druid chieftain on to explain the nature of their rites. Lets just say that human sacrifice has played a role in the big mono three, whether we like it or not.”

“Big mono three? Tom, do you have any idea what he’s talking about?”

“I’m going to change the subject here, Trish. I’m a little suspicious of the direction this is taking.”

“Thanks, Tom. I don’t think anyone wants to go where THIS is going.”

“Nor do I, Lamont. So your favorite iteration was an oak tree. Why was that?”

“Simple, Tom. When you’re an oak tree, you’re connected to every other oak tree for miles around. AND it’s likely you’re all brothers and sisters. The conversations are excellent. Overall, it’s a calm life with great company.”


“Sure. All oak trees are thoughtful observers of their immediate surroundings and they share their observations freely, factually, but sometimes with a small injection of humor.”

“You want me to believe oak trees are funny?”

“To other oak trees. You might not get the jokes. They tend to be dry and a little on the dark side.”

“Now you’re saying oak trees have a DARK sense of humor?”

“Well, yeah. It’s not a done deal by any means that when you fall from your mom, a tiny acorn, that into a mighty oak you will grow. There are a lot of factors over which you have no control. If you get there — big old oak tree status — you’ve seen a lot and you’ve survived. That’s not to say you will CONTINUE to survive. If you think about those Druid rituals, they often involved fire. As the saying goes, we always hurt the ones we love. I regard the perspective of the oak tree as one of wry compassion.”

“Wry compassion?”

“It’s not like we could run away, right? And those Druids? Druids do what Druids do. That’s how my time as an oak tree was cut short. It’s not just human sacrifice, sweet cheeks, though, in my times as a human being, I’ve come to understand humans’ species-centric view. It’s difficult to escape when you are human.”

“I understand you have a friend you’ve known through many of these past incarnations.”


“Does he remember as much as you do? Do you remember the same things? ”

“We often talk about our shared incarnations but, of course, we don’t remember everything, and we weren’t always together. One problem is that one animal is often food for another. Dude loves to talk about the time I was a woolly mammoth and he was a saber toothed tiger. I try not to bring up his short tenure as a salmon.”

“And you were???”

“A bear.”

To be continued…

Part One is Here

Part Two is Here


Lamont and his pal, Dude, are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe, and everything.

20 thoughts on “Food Not Food

  1. Oh to be an oak tree – I can’t wait until the part when Robin Hood was at large and hid in the branches. I am sure it was the highlight of Lamont’s reincarnaions.

  2. Ah, Dude appears just when I was starting to miss him. You made having an incarnation as an oak tree sound peaceful and relaxing, Martha. I could go for that.

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