Lamont and Dude Ponder the Accuracy of Memory

“No paleontology today, Dude?”

“No. The museum has closed everything at this point. Two guys got sick. You’re stuck with me 24/7 now, Lamont.”

“Were you…?”

“No. I’ve been working alone in that trailer with mammoth bones. These guys were in a lab. But now I have this app on my phone I use to report how I’m doing vis-a-vis our present crisis.”

“Oh, a new kind of computer virus.”

“Ha ha Lamont. Seriously, though. It’s a good idea.”

“I agree but for it to work everyone has to use it.”

“Are you using it?”

“Well, yeah. I like it, I like it especially because of this screen…”


“Because, Dude, you’re never ‘normal’.”

“Except maybe physically. I love that.”


“How is any human ever ‘normal’? That’s a paradox for your philosophical brain, Lamont.”

“I don’t know. I know that when I was an oak tree I NEVER thought longingly about what it was like being a human. Did you?”

“I might have. But, seriously, Lamont. Was our oak tree iteration really EVERYTHING you think it was? Our memories aren’t perfect. Look what happened with the whole Smilodon/mastodon story. You were a mammoth, and I was a kitten. That’s not how either of us remembered it. Maybe our time as oak trees was more fraught with angst and trauma than we recall.”

“That fire wasn’t great, but, you know, that was after thousands of years of tranquility and beauty. But, you know. After a few million trips around the old sun, you learn to take the bitter with the sweet.”


Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with several years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past iterations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.


The app is C-19. Here is a link: The purpose is to track symptoms across a large population in the absence of testing.

8 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Ponder the Accuracy of Memory

  1. I didn’t believe OFFAL was serious but I also understand that elements of his base considers him to be a kind of Messiah, making his comments irresponsible and cruel. I’m sick of him abusing journalists as well. No YOUR job, Marilyn, is to write a blog post that will make people laugh. 😉

    • There are hundreds more episodes in their story. You can read them by typing “Lamont and Dude” in the search bar on my site. 🙂 They’ve have many lifetimes of adventures…

  2. I was wondering how Lamont and Dude were faring. Perhaps they were both bats in a previous life and have some immunity? I’m worried about their immediate future if they rely on that app. Pass on my warning please, Martha.

  3. Ah, Dude cut to the core of the problem – that there is nothing you can really do but go with the flow and enjoy the ride – especially the good parts.

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