Lamont and Dude Contend with Reality

“Hey, Dude. Turn off the tube, man. I don’t want to hear anything that windbag has to say.”

“Shouldn’t he be wearing a mask?”

“If he were human, but, you know, I think he’s a bot.”

“It’s hard to believe that could be real.”

“There’s a lot of that going on right now. The line between real and unreal has never been less distinct, not in my lifetimes, anyway.”

“Have we lived through one of these before? Or even died in one? I’ve been trying to remember but…”

“Me too, Dude. I really don’t know.”

“It just hit me last night what this is.”

“Dude, it’s been going on for several months now and you just realized what it is?”

“C’mon Lamont. You know what I mean. It’s like, you know, really incomprehensible.”

“True dat. You seem kind of down, buddy.”

“Yeah. I guess.”

“How’s the surf?”


“That’s probably the real problem, Dude.”

“Probably. But I was thinking last night that the pandemic…”

“I know the pandemic.”

“I can’t even think about it. It’s just this crazy thing out there and it affects everybody whether they get sick or not.”

“That’s true.”

“The museum had its weekly meeting on Zoom yesterday and there’s everybody and I don’t know. It’s weird.”

“Did you suit up for it or did they recognize you without the Smilodon suit?”

“Ha ha. Everyone’s a little off balance like they don’t know who they are.”

“Are you going to go back soon, at least to clean bones?”

“It’s on hold. Maybe soon, maybe not. What do you think, Lamont?”

“I get what you’re saying, Dude. I get it. It’s not just the pandemic, it’s people. I was reading somewhere last week — I wish I knew where — but only 10% of people are guided by facts. !0% absolutely are not and 80% do what the people around them are doing.”

“You believe that?”

“I don’t know. But we’re in a situation now where the only way out is science and lots of people who don’t believe in science.”

“Yeah. You look down Lamont. Did you just figure this out, too?”

“Maybe. Maybe it takes the average human six months to wrap their mind around something like this.”

“You just used the singular ‘their’ instead of the more grammatically correct but sexist ‘his’. You’re not OK are you?”


“I bet you wouldn’t even mind being a velociraptor now.”

“At least there were no social issues and stupid human debate. Just us, prey and a meteorite.”

“Good times.”



Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with some time back. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

15 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Contend with Reality

  1. Reincarnation would seem like a waste of time if every era you lived in the world looked just as doomed and people just as lemming-like. 😉
    But thanks for adding your tale. Windbags are a species that haven’t changed since the world began.

    • Dude and Lamont have been writing about their various incarnations for 7 years now. It’s unbelievable. They have their favorite eras and beings (since they haven’t always been human). It’s just whimsy. Lamont liked best being an oak tree in Britain.

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