“Lamont, remember how we met?”
“How could I ever forget that?”
“I’m sorry Dude, but it was pretty funny — or you were pretty funny — sitting up on that dune watching the ocean. I don’t even know if you surfed back in those days.”
“Of course I surfed.”
“Why are you asking, anyway?”
“I got an email this morning. From that woman.”
“The one who was supposed to be sending you a message in a bottle?”
“Yeah. Get this. ‘Dearest’.”
“Not a bad start.”
“No. A little much, but…”
“‘I am afraid to tell you this, because I know it will hurt your feelings, but I know you’re a resilient, stoical kind of guy, with a big heart and an understanding nature…”
“That’s a set up. You don’t need to read more, Dude. I’ve had my share of letters like that.”
“I don’t think so, Lamont. Just wait.”
“‘…but this letter in a bottle thing is absolutely absurd. It’s like you didn’t even want me to write to you. I know you maybe thought it was the height of romance, but seriously?’ There, Lamont. Is that what you were expecting?”
“No, not a lecture about the idiocy of letters in bottles. I thought she was going to dump you.”
“Oh, well, that happens later.”
“The letter in a bottle idea was YOURS???”
“I was young. I was foolish. I was in love.”
“Love is complicated and dangerous, Dude. You know that by now, right?”
“I was reading about the angler fish. God, I hope neither of us ever were or ever will be angler fish males. It’s sinister. Worse than black widows and mantids.”
“One of those washed up on a beach not far from here a few days ago.”
“The question is why. They are pretty amazing creatures though, Dude. What a crazy design. It could only work in zero-gravity or a floating world. Sadly, I don’t remember any of my piscine iterations or even if I have had any. Do you?”
“How can you forget? Sometimes, Lamont, I don’t think you’re fully functional.”
“Oh, my bad. Sorry Dude, but you were one tasty salmon.”
Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years back. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.
5 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Discuss Communication”
And yet their friendship survives! That is a testament to the connectedness of friendship – or resilience…
Those connections that have been forged over many millennia are pretty hard to break.
That is so funny.
They can’t help it.
I know. 🙂
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