Lamont and Dude Discuss Human Limitations

“Where you going, Dude?”

“Meeting up at the museum.”

“OH! Does that mean your second iteration as a Smilodon — albeit this time only a costume — is about the recommence?”

“Could be. I don’t know. I just hate that they have meetings on Saturdays. I don’t see why. The museum is busy as hell on Saturdays.”

“You keep expecting rationality from this particular group of humans.”

“You’re thinking that’s irrational?”

“Yeah, but you know, we’re part of this groups so…”

“Good point. And strangely tolerant from you.”

“I’ve had the last year or so to think about this species of which we find ourselves.”

“Do you think humans have ever been more rational?”

“No. I was reading about the Black Death. They did everything they could to make it go away, but they didn’t know HOW to make it go away. But, to their credit, they did what they knew. And they didn’t know shit, Dude. There were painters back then who painted against the Black Death. What’s a painting going to do?”

“Ah. You’re humbled, Lamont. I never imagined.”

“Take it from me, Dude. 99% of what people do they do just to get from day to day. That’s it. Like this Black Friday business. What’s that about?”

“Oh stores think they might finally make some money.”

“Consumerism is a way of getting through the day. That’s all it is and then there’s that brief moment when they have gotten something and they have a kind of buyer’s high — you know what that is, Dude? Think back to the good old days.”

“Sure I know what that is. It’s how I felt when my family and I drove you into the tar pits.”

“I’m sure you did but then? Then? Tell me what happened Dude.”

“I don’t really feel like it. I gotta’ go.”


“OK. I landed in the tar pits.”

“Heh heh heh. What goes around comes around.”

“Lamont, that wasn’t just whimsical killing. You were going to feed us for MONTHS. Smilodons starve too.”

Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past incarnations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe and everything.

5 thoughts on “Lamont and Dude Discuss Human Limitations

  1. This was good stuff dude! For a minute there I thought you were making fun of my (and others) cliche California-skater-dude accent. I wasn’t too stoked. 🙂

    My girlfriend (who is from Georgia) makes fun of me all the time. I don’t get too bent up about it. It’s pretty funny actually.

    • Lamont and Dude live along the boardwalk in Pacific Beach. They both surf. I think one reason they came into existence was I was homesick for San Diego when I made them up, AND I like The Big Lebowski. As for the accent. I have it too, to some extent. When I’m relaxed with a person, he or she suddenly becomes dude. You don’t teach at San Diego State from the beginning of time without imbibing in the ethos. A lot of my students called me “Professor Dude.” Dude.

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