Even to me my gardening style seems a little kooky. It’s always an experiment. Some experiments succeed and some don’t. I’m not too hopeful about this one which is supposed to evolve into a patch of wildflowers… The burlap is alleged to protect the seeds from birds and wind and provide a covering through which the little plants will poke their optimistic heads. It’s only been five days so I’m keeping my own optimism.

So far the beans are persisting in teaching me the lesson of patience and faith. Another one poked his happy little head up out of the 3 inches of dirt under which I planted him. “Hello!” he said a couple of days ago.

“Wow, dude,” I said, “Are you sure? It’s pretty crowded in there. I’m not sure this is a good idea.”

“Sure is pretty up here.”

I have tomatoes to put out now and Genovese basil. I have to be one of the least inspired gardeners in the whole world. I do it because — I don’t know! Could it be in my blood? An urge to get out there and put stuff in the ground and water it? The plants themselves do some of it. The spring bulbs and iris come up every year with all their irresistible beauty. One of them that the wind was abusing is here in my house.

The message of a garden is always the same. Hope. It’s not my plants’ fault that I’m in a bad mood, a gray funk, a generally “over it” state of mind and heart. In my tiny world my fridge is on the blink. It’s kind of working, working enough, but the freezer isn’t cold enough. It freezes ice cubes, but… I did everything in my power — attempted to clean the coils but I don’t have a tool to take the little back off the fridge. So, it’s chugging along kind of working until a repair person can come out in 3 weeks.

And then, humans keep being inhuman…

A few days ago I wrote about envy which led to a discussion about want or desire or something in the comments about that, how it’s a problem for people. It is. I admit I tried to “rise above it” but that’s only possible in a conversation. In real life it’s not so easy. I honestly think NO one, no human is satisfied. We always wish for some other thing and sometimes it’s very vague. Yeah, right now I WANT a working refrigerator (and better knees) because my fridge is iffy as are my knees. But there is also a vague kind of yearning in the background for something I can’t fully define, but it involves people not randomly and whimsically killing others. It involves a lot of things that are completely NOT in my power.

19 thoughts on “Gardening…

  1. It may be kooky, but that’s a gorgeous iris! And your yearning is perfectly understandable, not just for killing, but for the world to work more consistently well and without troubles!

    • It just feels like every day something terrible happens. I’m going to try avoiding the news, which I only read, anyway. I don’t watch it. The iris is “Elizabeth.” My neighbor gave me the rhizome a couple years ago. We three on this corner all have the same flowers which is kind of cool. I’ve thought of writing a story about it.

      • I absolutely agree about turning away from the news — the only problem is that it still heppens, and one day you turn it on and’s all accumulated! I am watching a LOT less than I used to — can’t handle it any more! Yes, that something you yearn for could be hope, but I think it’s also peace (in many senses of the word).
        I love the idea of you and your neighbors having the same flowers — it must make the corner feel much bigger! And that iris (Elizabeth) is a delightful color. I remember driving south from Glenwood Springs one spring and admiring all the iris gardens 🙂 !

        • Peace, definitely. The story — I imagined us being dead and people buying our houses and notice that the flowers are the same. Maybe the real estate agent will say, “They were friends.” ❤️💐 My neighbors are far more avid gardeners than I am — and Karen is just a genius. Her garden is beautiful like, I dunno, a fancy garden somewhere. She’s passionate about gardening. Elizabeth experiments and grows more veggies. And I’m the worst of the three but stuff still grows. I tried growing iris in San Diego. It didn’t want to grow there, but there was an iris garden at SDSU. It faced the building where my office was so I could stop and smell them

          • My garden takes care of itself — camellias and hydrangeas in front flower in opposite seasons, and just need trimming periodically — and camellias and artificial grass in back just need hedge trimming once a year. But I think my yard is even ssmaller than yours! I do have a little patch where I’d like to put in some iris and portulaca — when I get around to it!

              • I don’t think Bear would get through artificial grass — it’s like a plastic blanket over the ground it sits on. I also don’t think Bear or Teddy would enjoy it, though, as it’s hot and plastic and not nice to sit on. It would be worth asking about, though.

  2. ❤ Martha I feel this too. The garden is wonderful and filled with hope. I think you too harbor a reserve of hope – else you wouldn't have picked the battered iris and brought it inside… I hope you get wild flowers!

  3. Didn’t Rumi say that all longing and wanting is for the Beloved and to be in contact with the Beloved, which makes it much more forgivable and tolerable. Longing as prayer.

  4. I’m with you on the “wish for better knees.” Lovely iris — it’s hard to grow those tall German irises here, to keep the bulbs alive through our winters.

    I don’t follow news much, either. Seems news is news like a photo is a photo: the basics are true but journalists may use filters to lighten or darken. I’ve seen a new leader described as “extreme right. Heaven help us!” where the next one says “A sensible moderate. We’re saved!”

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