“Well, Lamont, I guess this is some kind of weird fate that I’m going to live with an albatross in this two bedroom beach house.”
“You don’t like it, Dude? I thought I’d be good company.”
“You’re pretty messy, Lamont. I can’t believe you don’t want to live with the other albatrosses on the beach.”
“Problem is, Dude, I can’t. My albatross brain has imprinted to you. Birdbrains, you know? Besides you know what they say, ‘No good deed goes unpunished’. I don’t know if I ever thanked you.”
“No. But you’re welcome anyway.”
“You going out?”
“Out?”
“With your board?”
“I have to go to work today. It’s been weeks since I turned up at the museum. Lucky for me they’re an understanding bunch, and when I told them I’d taken in an orphaned albatross, they just thought I was deeply and environmentally cool and gave me a paid leave of absence.”
“From the Smilodon suit?”
“That and the research, you know, scrapping tar off bones to find out what they are.”
“Right. Well, when do we leave?”
“Lamont, you can’t come with me. You’re going to have to go out there on the beach with the other albatrosses when I’m at work.”
“That’s terrifying.”
“Why? You might find out you like them.”
“What do I say to them?”
“Maybe just shut up for once and listen. Find out what albatrosses think about, what worries them. Learn how to be an albatross because you’re going to be an albatross for the duration, Lamont.”
“I know what they think about. Just like the rest of us. ‘Mate, spawn and die.’ What else is there? When will you be home?”
“I dunno. 7 ish. You going to have dinner ready for me? No no no, never mind, just kidding. Please don’t bring dinner.”
“Images of fish guts just flashed through your mind didn’t they, Dude? I don’t see why I can’t come with you. I’ll be quiet.”
“It’s dangerous. You’ll be drawn to the water in that pond and let me tell you, you DON’T want to go there.”
“I’ve BEEN there, or have you forgotten? Thanks to you.”
“Let it go, Lamont.”
“Is there a dumpster?”
Lamont and Dude are characters I came up with a few years ago. They have the uncanny ability to remember many of their past iterations which gives them a unique perspective on life, the universe, and everything.
My response to the Rag Tag Daily Prompt today — bottle — is a link to the first episode of Lamont’s and Dude’s adventures.
“Summer is the season of inferior sledding” - Inuit proverb 
Oh Lamont. I just hope Dude outlives Lamont because if he doesn’t there could be some serious problems…. and that house might not be able to be sold easily!
Hard to say what will happen. But someone some day is going to do some serious cleaning.
I dunno but going to work with Dude sounds the best option. Lamont is going to be really bored staying home ….