“I Got to Go!!!”

For everyone who worried that Teddy was left out of my walk with Bear yesterday, this will reassure you that Teddy gets his turn. We headed out this afternoon — just us — and took a trail my dogs LOVE but which I don’t do during snake season, especially when I have both of them. I’ve yet to see a rattlesnake out there but I’ve seen too many in my life to think that just because I haven’t seen one, they’re not around.

As always, Teddy was very happy.

It was very beautiful as I will now attempt to prove.

Aspen on the mountains
Just a pretty scene.

The bees were VERY busy on all the Chamisa. It was fun trying to photograph them.

Bee here now…

I went out because, well, I have a friend trying to deal with some major problems in life and sometimes people in that situation can be assholes and take stuff out on the people who care about them..

Nature doesn’t have moods — we might project moods onto nature. This is not a mood going on in Florida right now. It’s a very dangerous hurricane. While these dramatic hurricanes might be exacerbated (if not caused by) by climate change (I believe they are) it doesn’t mean nature is “angry.” It means that please people I hope you are all in a safe place. That’s your job right now in the face of this thing that is bigger than you are.

For me, even going out in a blizzard clears my mind and returns me to the proper order of things. That said, I don’t go out in lighting storms. AND, 19 years ago, I ran from a fire. I understood that nature is “bigger” than me, and I very much wanted that next hike with my dogs. I remember looking over the mountains the day after we had evacuated and I had gone to a nearby town to stay in the park until I got word about where I could go. Above the mountains — which were more than 300 meters/1000 feet higher than the park — were flames and smoke. The fire was not ONLY coming up the other side, the flames were higher than the hills. We were fine where we were because of the wind direction, an absolutely bizarre reality. Even so, many people had headed east, into the desert to stay wherever they could on the other side of everything. It was a wise plan, but I didn’t want to do that. My plan was to go higher into the mountains. I had camping equipment and water and knew where I could camp for a steady supply of water from a good well. IF I had done that, the fire would have reached within 1/2 mile of me, but I would have been safe. And why? Because two years earlier a fire had come through there. There was little fuel. I knew that.

It wasn’t a great plan, but it had a couple of escape routes and would’ve been OK. I was pretty sure — it proved correct — that they would find a way to open Interstate 8 that day and they did. I was able to drive back down the mountain all the way to the beach where I had a friend who’d offered to let me and the dogs stay as long as we needed to. Early that evening, we loaded up and drove down between flaming mountains and arrived safely at my friend Sally’s house.

My love of nature is not particularly sentimental. I love the beauty, but I know that beauty is complicated and nature isn’t out there, “I feel pretty! O so pretty!” Nature won’t “betray” me, but I can, in nature, betray myself. That’s the danger. Not nature. Us.

10 thoughts on ““I Got to Go!!!”

  1. I’m so glad that Teddy got his turn for a walk in nature with you. Being outside can definitely clear your head and put everything into perspective. I’m not sure I’d have wanted to stick around with a wildfire nearby… but then I’m rather “mousey” when it comes to danger…

    • I didn’t want to stick around — it was problematic where we would be able to go. The fire kept jumping the freeway so east was not a sure thing and west wasn’t a sure thing. I needed to plan in case. Luckily I got to go stay with my best friend. ❤

  2. I think that’s what I love about nature. Aesthetically it is beautiful of course but more than that it doesn’t care about me. If it bites me, it isn’t because someone didn’t like me or I didn’t read the mood
    correctly or I didn’t look good enough or didn’t fit into the local social group. It’s becauseI screwed up.

    • I understand that. And it’s never trivial or self-indulgent or focused on something irrelevant or angry or boring or anything. It’s absolutely consistent and itself. It’s my role model.

  3. Being in nature/wilderness is a constant risk/benefit analysis.

    But then, that’s true of cities, as well. No guarantees in life. It is what it is.

    Glad you and Teddy enjoyed such a beautiful outing.

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