I recently wore out a bottom sheet. I don’t know how long I’d had it — five years, I think. Anyway, I was disgusted that it wore out so quickly. I know it was quick because my Aunt Jo was using my mom’s bedsheets until she had to leave her house some 20 years after my mom died and THOSE sheets were bought in the ’70s.

I went online to find good sheets and was appalled. $60 for a (somewhat) high quality bottom sheet. WTF? So there are (apparently) ordinary people in this world who spend upwards of $200 for cotton sheets and and and and????

Sheets are pretty banal. Buying them is like buying an iron or a new vacuum. I just can’t get really excited about it. The sheet arrived. It was abysmal. Pure cotton (good), but still it attracted dog hair, lint, dust as if it were a hardcore polyester static electricity generator. I might not have known had the thing not been burgundy. I tried everything to decrease its attractive qualities — everything being dryer sheets — to no avail. I didn’t want to sleep on it and ended up buying ANOTHER, but white so at least if it behaves the same way, I won’t know. BUT it doesn’t seem that it does.

It’s hard to care about this until the moment that your foot goes through your sheet and you realize you now have a lot of rags for washing windows. Like that’s ever going to happen.